Standing Alone
by CrystalSaffron
Summary: Buffy reflects while looking over what used to be Sunnydale. One shot fic. P.O.V. r&r please!


Title: Standing Alone  
  
Rating: PG-just for some darker themes.  
  
Disclaimer: ::puts on little tape with a monotone voice:: The plot lines and/or characters that you may recognize belong solely to the jer- excuse me, owner Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing them. So, don't sue. ::shuts off tape and puts it away::  
  
Dedication: To all who watched Buffy and to all who reviewed any of my other fics.  
  
Summary: Just a little P.O.V. from Buffy when she's standing there looking on what used to be Sunnydale.  
  
Read and enjoy!~CrystalSaffron  
  
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Standing Alone  
  
Here she was. At the end. Funny..she thought that it would have been different. Maybe she thought that she would have finally died, finally felt everlasting piece. Fate is fickle though, and decided that's not what was for her. Not yet anyway, because in the end, death is inevitable. Still, it all just seemed.simple? No. Wrong? No. She didn't think there was an actual word for what it seemed but the closest she could come to was.. surreal.  
  
She guessed it just wasn't registering all yet, probably still in shock. Everything she had come to known, to trust, believe in, understand, had went crumbling down with the buildings. She couldn't believe it was just..gone. Nothing left, except for a crater in the ground. Nothing to say what had happened there, nothing to tell about the lives lost, battles lost, battles won, friendships torn, then rebuilt, lovers met, lovers lost, problems caused, problems solved, just nothing. So what did that mean for her?  
  
She'd spent seven years protecting the town, saving the lives of innocent people, living here, working here, living here, and what did that mean? Was it all for naught? Had she been fooling herself into believing that she really could save them? Make a difference? No. She did make a difference. She saved lives, changed lives, and helped people. While she may have lost a town, buildings, places to learn, work, and play, it wasn't for naught. She had lost people to this town though, people she had cared about deeply, people buried under the soil, forever lost. Only remembered in memory now, their graves lost to the cavernous earth. She had recently just lost two more too. Neither of them had been given a proper burial.  
  
She hoped that in the end it counted, that people realized the sacrifices that she, and her friends, had made for this town, this world. Still, what did that mean for her? What was she going to do now? Were would she go? Maybe she should disappear into the world, a face among the crowd, a number. Maybe she should help other girls who would now have to face the new power that they had. Teach them, help them, just as she was. One thing she knew though, she could never settle for the white picket fence, the 2.5 children, the dog, and the dotting husband. She knew that wasn't the life for her. She wasn't normal and never would be. No normal life for her.  
  
So here she was, standing on an open road, looking out onto a swallowed town, a swallowed past. She could walk back to it if she wanted to, and never leave again, but she couldn't live in the past, even if she tried. She could only go forward into the future, just like everyone else. Walking blindly to promises of peace and eternal happiness and though she might stumble, and though she might fall, she would get up again. She would keep walking because in reality, what else can you do? She couldn't just sit there. It wasn't her style, wasn't who she was.  
  
She knew in the end, she was going to turn around and walk forward onto that open, uncertain road, and onto the future. She only hoped there weren't many potholes.  
  
She knew the others were there, looking at her for what to do, for where to go. In the end, though, they were going to have to find their own footing on their own road. They were going to do great things and she hoped that she was around to see them when they shined in their glory. And although right now they were all surrounding her, giving her their friendship, their love, their comfort, she couldn't help but feel alone.  
  
She knew it would pass, that later she would laugh at her for feeling like this, for feeling as if she was going into the battle for her life, with no one else to back her up.  
  
When the time came, she was sure that her friends and family would be right there, standing by her. They wouldn't let her go down alone, but for right now, their friendship, their love, their hope, couldn't reach her. Right now, it was just her, standing alone. 


End file.
